A film by Miroslav Krobot
I know.
A sheep goes to the doctor. Do you know this one?
- I do, but go on. - A sheep goes to the doctor.
He's screaming at it: I don't know how else to tell you.
Say "aaah". The sheep goes: "beeeh".
- See you tomorrow. - Bye.
- Bye, Funes. - Bye!
Have I left my shoes there?
Yes.
- That jacket of yours. - Terrible.
- Can you zip me up, Robi? - Yes.
- It's a smart joke. - You tell me.
You can replace A and B with anything.
A shepherd sits with his sheep and says, see, another day's over.
I can now A, read you a story, or B, fuck your brains out.
The sheep goes: Beeeh!
- Have you just made that up? - Yes.
It's great.
- Take care. - Bye.
- Why do I keep showing off for him? - Maybe you're jealous.
I don't think so. I love you.
What?
You'll be sorry one day.
Who takes out the rubbish at night?
- Good evening. - Evening.
You'll be surprised when you find me with cut veins one day.
Where are you?
You think I can't see you?
You'll be sorry!
So? Did you have fun?
You'll pay for your whoring one day!
Think of something nice.
Now tell me who he is.
Me, you idiot.
We can go somewhere after the concert, if you want.
How did you know what I was thinking?
I want you to be happy. With me, you know?
- Do you have any special preference? - As in where we could go?
- We won't know. - I understand.
How come? You're supposed to be surprised.
I think I am.
You just can't tell.
But that's as if you weren't.
You just want to make me happy, don't you?
I do like it. It's dramatic.
I'll take a shower.
- Can I take your car in the morning? - Sure.
Thanks.
- Hi! - Hi.
- Are you happy? - And you?
Thoroughly.
My jealous neighbour is threatening his wife.
I had to console her.
A nice experience.
Congratulations.
I was happiest when mum bought bananas.
And we ate them together.
I must have been around nine.
- And your mum? - We joked and laughed.
- Any interesting cases? - Happiness is about individual moments.
The secret is to notice them.
And you know that a therapist can't talk about her clients.
Theoretically, you should be happy whenever you make someone happy.
I have a friend. We call him Funes,
like the French comedian, because he's the exact opposite to him.
I think he deserves some happiness.
He died from three stab wounds to the chest.
To this day, we don't know who carried out or organised the deed.
The power structure of 14th century Europe was very complicated.
Six different groups didn't want him to continue the legacy of his father.
The Arpad dynasty was wronged by his annulled betrothal to Elizabeth.
Ladislaus I was his direct competitor in the battle for the Polish throne.
And of course the Roman king Albrecht I had his reasons, which I'll come back to.
- Fourth, the local Bohemian aristocracy... - Excuse us, we're just on a trip.
I understand.
But it was very illuminating, right? Thanks. Let's hurry to see the rest.
You have a sense of humour.
And a rich inner life that you never show.
- Isn't it boring watching rocks all day? - A bit. Tea?
You could come to my group. There's a great therapist.
Will there be other people?
It's our wedding anniversary.
The most difficult thing is being alone.
You should find some friends. And visit us more.
- Simona will be happy to see you. - I don't want to be a burden.
When your dad was alive, we could stay silent for three days.
But at least he was there. He didn't have time for me, either.
Damn it.
Did they take anything?
- It's my fault. - Mum, please, calm down.
- Nothing's happened. - My fault.
Damn it.
How do I look?
You look great.
Could you be serious for a minute?
You look great.
Robi? Do you like how I look?
I always do.
Isn't that just a phrase?
No. You have a new hairdo, but I liked you before too.
Happy birthday.
Thank you, Shaman.
- It's going to rain. - I don't go outside.
You should.
You smell a bit.
You can't insult me. I'm water.
We're all water.
So why do you shower?
She's getting this.
A butterfly.
Nice, isn't it?
- I know it's kitsch. - I know you know.
Tomáš's idea. I'd never think of that.
You have other qualities.
I do? Like what?
Your eyes.
- Your arse. - I'm supposed to believe that?
- There's something I need to do. - What?
Excuse me.
- Bye, then. - Bye, Funes.
Yes, it's the Fabia. I'll be there in half an hour.
Two Mexican goulashes, Shaman.
Happy birthday, the best of luck...
and may everything you wish for come true, Butterfly.
Thank you.
That tickles.
You'd be the pride of any butterfly collection.
Thanks.
Nice haircut. I like it.
I was expecting a present. You don't have anything?
Don't rush.
A birthday is a ritual with its own rules.
First...
we could take our clothes off.
Okay.
- You're quick, Shaman. - I'm quick because the world is slow.
Exactly.
It's going to get cold.
We're taking a break. The food would get cold.
We keep going somewhere, I don't know where
Early in the morning we go camping
I don't cook breakfast they give me one
Keys in the ignition and we're off - where?
I remember now we know it there
With the lights out it gets scary in the woods
Yes, to the woods, driving in my car
I check my teeth in the mirror, wave to the happy cops
And here we are, at the camp site...
She doesn't suspect a thing.
What are you doing?
Enjoying myself.
You look serious.
I'd hate that.
It doesn't suit you.
Sorry.
Don't apologise.
Nothing's happened.
A dull knife won't help, but it won't hurt.
I love you, Shaman.
Tomáš...
we love you.
Will you marry us?
But if you do...
you'll have to take care of us...
for the rest of your life.
You're afraid we're being serious, aren't you?
Yeah.
Don't worry.
- Let's go to my place. - Let's go to his place.
I'm going home. I must go to my poor Robert.
- Bye-bye! - Bye.
Is it so hot?
Yes. And the moon hasn't even come out yet.
Hi.
- Have you been waiting for me? - I guess I fell asleep.
Liar.
I've been waiting.
Your clothes will get wet.
Help me out, then.
How was the party?
Fine.
- What were you drinking? - Everything.
- Had fun? - Yeah, I think we did.
Pity you weren't there.
I don't mind being alone.
The important thing is that you're with me.
Nothing else matters, you know?
If there's a problem, tell me.
Let's talk tomorrow when you're sober.
Why did you have to forget your keys today?
It happens on other days, too.
Think of something nice.
Anything you like.
- Like food. - Funny.
If I jump, I might not die straight away. I'll be looking up so you remember me.
Don't be a fool! Open up!
Wait! Forgive me! I'm doing this because I love you!
Talk to me, sir.
Is there a problem, sir?
No.
Don't you want to take the stairs?
What did they want?
To save me.
I don't remember anything from yesterday.
- But it was a nice birthday. - How would you know?
I don't know. My body remembers.
I see.
I'm hungry. Let's grab something to eat.
I can't. There's something I have to do.
- Bye, then. - See you.
I wanted you to fix that shelf for me.
In the end, I did it myself.
But mainly I just wanted to talk to you.
Is it so odd?
- I'd do it, but... - But who knows when.
I must do everything myself.
Your former father is worthless. Completely useless.
Sit down.
- Are you doing that on purpose? - What?
- Sitting at his table. - Sorry.
Thank you.
- Hi. - Hi, dad.
- How about a beer? - Sure.
Can't you see we're having coffee?
- Milk? - No, thank you.
It's better for your stomach.
Well... How are you?
Fine.
Is that all you can say? I'm your mother.
- I have the right to know how you live. - Yes.
Nothing's going on. I would have told you.
You only talk to me when I force you to.
You know how much I've done for you.
I didn't even get divorced because of you.
I didn't want to traumatise you. You were a sensitive child.
I'm 35.
You never told me which one of us you liked more.
Hard to say, mum.
But you took after me.
Your father is boring. No imagination.
Don't put the bottle on the table. It smells if it's not been washed.
I'm sorry.
I was being pathetic rather than...
- Rather than what? - Truly angry, you know?
- Haven't slept well? - The couch is terrible.
Don't say "you know".
- Are you okay? - Yes.
Thanks.
I really hate situations like this.
Like what?
Going back to something you can't fix anymore.
At night, I decided to be lustful and passionate this morning.
- Why? - To show you're attractive, you know?
So why didn't you do it?
I saw you looking in yesterday.
Was he really looking in?
If he doesn't trust me, I guess he doesn't love me.
Don't be sad.
The rabbit looks as if he understood.
- Do you want him? - No.
The important thing is that you love him.
It would be worse if you didn't.
I need to have someone to love, always.
But... I don't want to be a burden, either.
I hate it when someone does that to me...
so I don't want to be like that.
But you need to feel your boyfriend loves you, don't you?
Yeah.
But the main thing is that I'm in love.
Hi.
This is my friend Funes. Like the French comedian.
- Hi. - Hello.
His face never moves, but he's fun.
I'm Sylva, but Tomáš probably told you about me.
We're all on first-name terms round here, if you don't mind.
Do you want to tell us your real name?
I've got used to Funes.
Could you briefly introduce yourself, perhaps?
- You play the viola? - Violin.
See? You've told us something.
I want to know what you're anxious about. Can we help you somehow?
You don't have to answer now. There will be time later.
The rest of us will begin as always. Lie down on your back...
Close your eyes and relax.
Relax your entire body, your mind is relaxed...
Focus only on my voice.
We are completely at peace.
We're floating on the gentle waves of a calm ocean.
Watch carefully. It should take between 5 and 10 seconds.
- What do you think? - You know her?
Just through the glass.
Fancy a biscuit?
- That's Sylva. - Robert.
- Sylva, hi. - You're with Funes?
She's a psychotherapist. Tomáš invited her.
But I want you to be romantic.
And not ashamed of it.
And perhaps to sacrifice something for me, even if it's difficult.
I want you to be social and nice. Because nice things are important.
If you only tried. You could experience joy.
And I'd experience it with you.
You'd be chirpier and happier.
Why are you tormenting me?
Are you going to stand here like last time?
- I suppose. But I'd rather go home. - Are you going?
I suppose so.
I'll have another beer.
Nice gig.
- That hurt. - Don't harm him, miss.
And... do you have a phone? You don't.
And a number? I don't want to be pushy, but mine's 777-259-473.
- I work as an artist. - An artist?
I'm an artist, too.
- In a theatre. - A theatre?
Yeah, that's how it is.
Oh, hi! You told me I was the only one. Who is she?
Hi. Will you have some?
Sure, I understand. You look nice.
I'm your secret admirer. Come to my show. I'll perform just for you.
Sure, tell me when.
Bye, Shepherd. And no sheep fucking today!
Sure, I understand. Bye-bye.
- Bye. - Good night.
- Another nice evening? - Yes.
Congratulations.
- Robi. - Yes?
- Don't be mean, please. - At your service.
Robi?
Sorry.
I'll make coffee. I want to talk.
I haven't read cards in a pub before.
Fate is written in beer.
The King here means the ability to calmly pursue a goal. That fits.
The Two of Cups is a new relationship, friendship, something like that.
The Lovers represent the ability to love, both physical and mental.
You are faithful, you can be trusting.
You'll discover freedom and happiness through reason.
But the Star says you should trust your intuition and yourself.
Interesting. And I'm not ill or anything?
You're a lucky person, Funes.
This is the time when poetry meets reality. 180 Crowns.
We'll play the Piňos, mum.
Do you want a biscuit?
I have the invitation, look.
The Schwubb Quartet. After dad.
I see. That's nice of you.
- Hello, Mrs. Schwubb. - Hello, Simona. How are you?
Fine.
- The only one missing is Tomáš, right? - Yes, Mrs. Schwubb.
- Are you going to get married? - What?
I asked if you and Simona are going to marry.
- Maybe later. - I don't know.
Shepherd's the one who understands Robert best these days.
- You shouldn't marry, Robert. - Why?
You're happy alone.
That must be Tomáš.
- Hi, everyone. Hello, Mrs. Schwubb. - Hello.
- How's life treating you? - Fine.
What about your suitors? Too many to count, am I right?
That was a joke, mum!
Thanks, man. Mum!
Is he coming back?
- Does Simona have another man? - What makes you think that?
- You should act before it's too late. - Mum.
- Is it Tomáš? - No.
I can tell these things.
You should be more confident.
- But that's the trouble. - Don't pity me.
- I do. Because you're just like me. - And I'm glad that I am.
- Really. That I'm like you and dad. - Are you?
Of course.
And shouldn't you have children?
This?
The gunpowder magazine at Korunní Fort?
This?
The Corpus Christi Chapel at the Convent.
Awesome.
- Hi! - Hi.
Practising? I've come to have a listen. So give it your best.
- What's that? - A corpus chapel.
Jaroslav of Sternberg praying before his battle with the Tatars.
- And did it help? - What?
The praying.
The battle is a myth. There never was one.
So it did help. Cool.
When I took mum to the cemetery, someone broke into your car.
What?
- Took the radio and some other stuff. - Why haven't you told me?
You didn't need the car and it'll be fixed soon.
I came late to the pub because the garage needed some papers.
You've been angry with me ever since, as if it was me who did it.
At first I couldn't understand.
But I figured it out during Tomáš's show.
You told me you wanted me to be someone I'm not.
Maybe you aren't aware that's quite difficult.
Because I can't be anyone else. And I don't want to be.
You have to decide if you're fine with it or not.
Do you know how selfish you are?
Yes.
We're all selfish.
If I remembered what you just said, I'd post it online.
- Why? - To start a discussion.
I'd hate that.
I'm trying to release tension.
Why don't you settle this at home?
- Shall we play? - I'm ready.
- Where do we start? - From L.
It seems our brains are incapable of avoiding stereotypes.
I hate that.
- Are you getting naked again? - We'll go to my place.
- I need help with the party for Funes. - I can't come tomorrow, I'm working.
- And you? - I suppose.
- Are you engaged or single now? - I don't know. I'll see.
The evening is the day's orgasm and the night's hope.
- Exactly. - Exactly.
- What happened, Mrs. Žandová? - The nutcase from the third floor.
He was shouting from the scaffolding as usual.
You know how he was.
Except this time he did fall. Dead on the spot.
At least she'll be at peace now.
But maybe she helped him. Maybe she couldn't bear it any longer.
- Yeah, it's him. - Who?
My neighbour, the psycho.
I'm off to bed.
That was my first corpse, you know?
I'd go home, but I've missed the last train.
Didn't you want to stay with Tomáš?
Normally I would.
- It's nice here in the evening. - The nicest.
I'm sleeping on a couch. That's also not great.
Have you decided?
- It's complicated. - Why?
We've been together for three years.
And... I don't want to hurt you. You understand.
Don't worry about me. I'm a friend.
Why do you take pictures of rocks?
He looks at them all day, he may not recognise them.
- What do you think? - I wouldn't recognise that.
Thanks for helping us, Mrs. Málková. Funes will be happy.
Say cheese.
- You look suspiciously good here. - Thanks.
- What if someone comes? - They won't.
- No one comes here? - Just afternoons. Schools and such.
We should take advantage of that.
Everyone would. In this situation.
Wouldn't it be stupid, with the carriage rocking?
Like in a movie.
I suppose.
That doesn't mean I don't want you.
Which movie?
Fanfan la Tulipe.
Hi.
Hello. Hi.
I think in a sense we're all alone. You portrayed that very nicely.
We're actually using the same methods. I'm an actor. We both work with our body.
I think we live in a time when we can't be happy,
and so we're superficial, which only makes the loneliness worse.
Sorry, Shepard, but I'm sure she isn't lonely.
You're not?
Bye.
Do you like me, Funes?
I do.
You've been staring at my breasts all evening.
- You wouldn't be happy with me. - Nor would you with me.
We can be friends.
That could be very invigorating.
- Thank you. Bye. - Bye-bye.
Thank you. Good-bye.
- Good-bye. - Bye.
Bye.
The papers and car keys are on the kitchen table.
Thanks.
It was a success, wasn't it?
You had a good time with Sylva.
I was keeping an eye on you.
Didn't you like it?
- I wanted to make you happy. - I realised I prefer to be alone.
Why didn't you say anything?
I wanted you to feel happy that you're taking care of me.
- We want to talk to you sometimes. - But I don't talk much.
But I like being with you for balance.
- What kind of balance? - Personal.
Sometimes I feel better in the past which probably isn't healthy.
No, because we don't know what you like.
I like most things. Mainly the music.
We're all different. I don't talk,
you don't know what to do with yourself.
That also isn't healthy.
But thanks for the party.
Hello?
Are you okay?
Where are you?
At home.
What about Butterfly? She seemed pretty wild.
Can I see you?
Some time?
Later?
I don't know.
Maybe.
I don't know.
Happiness is often talked about, but it's difficult to define.
Psychologists believe it comes with the satisfaction of human needs,
both physical and spiritual.
Happiness also has an interesting interactive character.
Can happiness come by itself or does it need a relationship?
Does the happiness of others rely on my happiness?
Can we be happy if we're alone?
Even though the answer isn't clear,
I believe that true happiness requires a connection with other people.
This gives our own future meaning.
In any case, it is rewarding to think about these things.
Thank you.
That was interesting.
Here's an invitation to our concert. I'll be glad if you can make it.
So if I want others to be happy, I must be happy myself?
- Come again? - I must try to be happy...
- so others feel happy too. - Why not?
Wonderful. Awesome!
- Your mum was moved. - Was she?
She was the only one crying.
- She does that a lot. - That was our worst performance yet.
We'll be better next time.
- Here's to the concert. - To the concert.
- Milk the goat, get the cheese. - What?
That means we go to my place.
"Milk the goat, get the cheese" means we go to your place?
It's an Arabic saying,
and it means that you must milk the goat to get the cheese.
It has nothing to do with my place.
- So why did you say it? - I don't know.
I just thought of it.
Funes isn't here.
Which means what?
Which means the concert was terrible.
Funes isn't a social person.
No, it means we should disband the quartet.
You want to disband the quartet that you set up?
Why not?
- You can't eat with two spoons. - Which means what?
That I don't have my keys...
- and we have to climb the scaffolding. - No way.
I say a sheep joke and you basically just repeat it.
It's not repetition, it's application.
The version with the fucking is funnier than with the doctor.
That's true.
Thanks.
- Why don't you think of something new? - Because I can't.
And because I love application.
It's true that application can improve an idea.
But the original idea and its creator are more important.
That's true, but creators tend to be irresponsible narcissists.
You have a point.
So you think that, say, Leonardo da Vinci was an irresponsible narcissist.
But Leonardo painted. Made sculptures.
Siege engines.
While being gay in the Middle Ages.
- That's true. - That is true.
- I'm off to sleep. Good night. - Good night.
- Leonardo was gay in the Middle Ages? - Yes.
That's awesome.
The truth is...
that sometimes I feel like an inferior version of myself.
Do you really want to disband the quartet?
Yes.
At the end of the day, I prefer being alone.
I've lived alone since I was 18 and I'm not complaining.
- Hi, Funes. - Hi.
- What are you doing here? - Nothing.
I wanted to see you.
Sit down.
- Are we practising today? - No, he's just visiting.
- Have you had any breakfast? - Not really.
- So you haven't, or... - Alright, then.
- Alright what? - I'll have something.
Okay.
Hi, Funes.
I've thought about it a lot.
It was a poor concert, but that's not a reason to stop playing.
- What did you say? - There's no reason to stop playing.
Coffee will be ready in a minute.
It's good.
I wrote this.
- Is that for us? - I gave it a try.
You're in it, too.
What?
There are vocals.
I'm singing in this?
Yeah.